


Cure

by shiroyasha



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-13
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2018-01-15 14:24:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1308055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiroyasha/pseuds/shiroyasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Will…will you sleep with me?’<br/>Given any other situation, the question would have been wholly inappropriate and warranted Eren a fist in the face, but Levi merely sighed this time. </p><p>Eren is suffering from Panic Disorder and, somehow bizarrely, the only thing that seems to calm him down is Levi's hugs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cure

When Levi first joined the Scouting Legion, he had been prepared for many things: bleak military lifestyle, barely hygienic living quarters, perilous missions, violence, blood, and death. He expected these, had resigned himself to them, and even though they never got any easier with time, he was never caught off guard.

They were all part of the job description.

But never in all of Levi’s battle-hardened life could he ever have imagined a day would come when ‘cuddling a teenage boy’ would become part of his job description. At least not the one he signed up for last time he checked.

Levi let out a small sigh and shifted his numb legs underneath the heavy weight that was said teenage boy, currently curled tightly against his chest, head buried into the crook of his neck. They had been sitting on the floor like this for the past ten minutes, and the intense body heat radiating from the youth was starting to make Levi sweat uncomfortably.

‘Think you can stand soon?’ Levi murmured against the boy’s head and accidentally got a mouthful of his hair as he spoke. He spat it out hastily with a grimace.

Eren’s head twitched at the sudden puff of air against his skin. Moving sluggishly as though his limbs were chained to weights, the boy peeled himself away from Levi. Green eyes downcast, he avoided the corporal’s gaze. When he spoke, his voice was barely a whisper and Levi had to strain to catch his words despite their close proximity.

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t… I needed your help again…sir.’ His voice trailed off. He looked absolutely miserable.

‘Don’t think too much about it,’ Levi said calmly. ‘You recovered faster than last time. That’s an improvement.’

‘It came from _cleaning_ ,’ Eren spat out bitterly, glaring at the broomstick lying on the ground as though it was to blame. ‘It’s pathetic! _I’m_ pathe-’

‘Hey,’ Levi gave him a small shove. ‘Hanji said the trigger could be anything _,_ remember? This is outside your own control so stop beating yourself up. We are taking baby steps, right? Or bratty steps, in your case.’

The fact that Eren didn’t react to his comment told Levi the boy was brooding deeply again. He tsked and straightened his back. He had used up his portion of Nice for the day.

‘Well, Jaeger,’ he said, his corporal voice back. ‘Kindly get off me if you are able to stand. I’d like to be able to feel my legs again.’

That got a reaction out of him. Eren scrambled to his feet, looking abashed.

‘Do you think you can finish up this room? I can get someone else to take over if you’re not up to it.’

Eren shook his head fiercely. ‘No, I can do it! I will finish it, sir. Sorry…again.’

~~~

The first time it happened, Levi was woken up by a blood-curdling scream. He sat up violently, hand flying for his blades. Realizing it was coming from the basement, he swore and fumbled with his nightshirt before hurrying downstairs, snatching a lamp along the way.

He found Eren on the floor, shaking and gasping as though he was having a seizure.

‘Jaeger? What’s wrong with you?’ Levi knelt by the boy’s side and touched his arm. ‘Can you hear me?’

Eren flailed his arms wildly, swatting him away.

‘I can’t…’ he gasped out, ‘I can’t breathe…’ His green eyes were wide with fright, his fingers clawed wildly at his throat and chest. ‘I…can’t…breathe…’ As though his loose nightshirt was somehow choking him, his fingers curled around the neckline in a grip so tight his knuckles went white. He pulled and tugged in desperation and the shirt tore with a loud ripping sound.

Levi stared in momentary bewilderment. Contrary to what Eren was claiming, he wasn’t showing the typical symptoms of someone choking or suffocating. He was able to talk and judging by his heavy panting, could breathe quite normally.

If anything, he was breathing too _much_. And too fast.

Levi grabbed Eren’s arm, placed one hand behind his back, and pulled him into a sitting position. ‘Here, lean against the bed.’

Eren whimpered and did as he was told. He was still gasping in short, rapid bursts. His entire body, down to the toes on his bare feet shook with erratic spasms. Levi felt for the pulse on his neck and found it racing above what should be normal.

‘Are you in pain anywhere?’ he asked.

‘D-dizzy… my chest…feels t-tight,’ Eren stuttered. ‘And I c-can’t _breathe_.’

‘You _can_ breathe,’ Levi interjected firmly. ‘Listen to all the breaths you’re taking right now. You’ve been doing nothing but breathing. Believe me, if you really couldn’t breathe, you wouldn’t be conscious right now.’

The boy was having a panic attack, Levi was sure of it. He had seen it before. It wasn’t uncommon among soldiers, given what they did for a living. Eren was hyperventilating and his dizziness and shaking were an indirect result of the sharp increase in oxygen intake. Levi would need to first calm Eren’s breathing if he wanted to alleviate the other symptoms.

He looked around the scantly furnished basement. The likelihood of finding a paper bag lying around was almost next to none. He thought hard, remembering seeing several large envelopes in his office drawer. They might do the trick.

‘Listen, I’m going to have to get something from my office. I’ll be right back so – ’

Eren’s hands shot out and gripped Levi’s arm so hard and fast that he almost toppled over the boy.

‘D-don’t go!’ Panic-stricken eyes looked at Levi imploringly. ‘P-please don’t leave me!’

Levi let out a frustrated sigh, stuck standing in a half-crouch, Eren’s grip locking him into place. ‘I’ll only be gone for a minute. You’re going to be fine.’

‘I won’t!’ Eren’s breath hitched with a sob. His hand gave a particularly violent shudder, making him lose his grip on Levi’s arm. He slid and fell forward, hitting the ground with a loud smack.

‘Shit. Are you all –’

With a loud wheeze Eren rolled over on his back. He clawed at his chest again. The half-torn nightshirt rode up his slim torso, tangling with his limbs. He tried to remove it over his head, but lacked the physical coordination to do it. The shirt got stuck halfway up, trapping his arms and covering his face.

He started to scream then, kicking his legs wildly. ‘I can’t breathe! Oh god…I can’t…get it off me…I can’t breathe get it off Levi…get if off GET IT OFF!’

‘For fuck’s sake,’ Levi clicked his tongue and yanked off the offending shirt, flinging it to the far side of the room.

‘There. It’s gone. Now calm down or you’re going to wake up half the castle.’

But Eren wouldn’t calm down. Breathing rapidly and verging on hysteria, his eyes began to glaze over as though he was in a trance. He groaned and pressed the back of his hand against his mouth, trying to stifle the uncontrolled sobs coming out of his mouth.

Levi stared. He had never seen Eren look so helpless, not even when he was chained and beaten in the courtroom. He knew Eren was anything but a coward – he had proven that much over the course of their acquaintance. Seeing Eren break down on the floor now served as a sharp reminder that he was dealing with a vulnerable boy, not a seasoned soldier.

Levi’s eyes suddenly narrowed. Eren had started to bite the back of his hand. It seemed to be a subconscious act, born out of frustration or fear or something else, Levi wasn’t sure. But it was definitely not a good idea. Levi didn’t even want to think about the possibility of Eren transforming by mistake in his current state of mind.

‘Hey, stop that.’

The moment he grabbed Eren’s wrists the boy started to struggle and kick. His green eyes were wide open but Levi suspected he wasn’t really seeing anything. He began thrash about within Levi’s grip.

‘Let go! Let go of me!’ he yelled hysterically, twisting and turning on the floor, which only made his breathing even worse.

‘Stop _fighting_ me, Jaeger,’ Levi growled through gritted teeth, holding the boy still with difficulty. ‘I’m trying to help you.’

Eren’s eyes bulged. He bared his teeth and growled. In a move that did not go unnoticed by Levi, Eren craned his neck and tried to bite his own thumb. Forcing the boy’s hand away from his snapping mouth, Levi hissed in pain as Eren’s teeth found the man’s wrist instead. With a sharp pain that most definitely broke his skin, Levi felt something warm trickle down his arm.

‘Fucking pain in the arse brat.’

In one of the rare moments of his life, Levi was at an utter loss. He had no idea how to calm Eren down. Titans he could deal with, but a hysterical, panic-stricken boy who couldn’t be reasoned with words was something he wasn’t used to. But he knew he had to act and act fast before Eren really did transform.

Levi did the only thing that came to mind.

Something he never thought he would do.

He pulled Eren close to him, wrapping both arms around the boy in a strong embrace, trapping his arms to his sides. Eren resisted at first, pushing against Levi’s chest.

‘ _Eren_ ,’ Levi said clearly and loudly, lips pressed against the boy’s ear. ‘Listen to me, Eren.’ The struggling boy in his arms grew still. ‘That’s right. Just focus on the sound of my voice and relax.’

Keeping the boy pressed close against him, Levi massaged the back of Eren’s head with one hand, and stroked his back with the other hand.

‘You are going to be fine. You are just having a little panic attack, but everything is going to be all right.’

In a gentle voice he had no idea he was capable of making, Levi murmured into Eren’s ear. ‘Focus on my voice, and my voice only. Don’t think about anything else. I’m right here with you and I promise you’re going to be just fine.’

Levi heard a small whimper and felt two hands clutch at his shirt. Eren was no longer struggling, but he was still breathing fast and shaking like a leaf.

‘We are going to stop your hyperventilation, ok? You are going to take a long breath on my count, and then you are going to hold it for three seconds. You ready? Take a deep breath now.’

Levi felt Eren’s chest expand as he inhaled obediently.

‘Good. Now hold it, one – two – three. And now exhale.’

Warm air washed over Levi’s neck as Eren breathed out.

‘Very good. Now breathe in again, and hold it.’

Levi repeated his counting again and again until he felt Eren’s breathing gradually slow down and his trembles subside. He stroked the boy’s back reassuringly, feeling the muscles in his back relax little by little.

Some time during the course of Levi’s ministrations, Eren’s hands had snaked around Levi’s waist and wrapped him in a hold so tight it was borderline-painful. Levi lost track of how long they stayed locked to each other like this, the growing pain in his knees and legs the only indication of the passing of time.

When he deemed Eren to be stable, and when his legs couldn’t take the full weight of the boy any longer, he tried to pull away.

Eren’s hysterical babbling started almost instantly.

‘No don’t go please don’t go it’s going to come back if you do!’ As though to illustrate his point, Eren’s breathing started to become erratic again even as he spoke.

Levi groaned inwardly. He was exhausted. His body ached. He needed sleep. He had thought calming Eren down would solve everything but it seemed like that was only half the problem.

‘Please,’ Eren moaned, tightening his hands around Levi’s waist. He could feel the agitated hammering of the boy’s heart through his chest. It would do no good if his heart rate soared again.

‘All right, I won’t go anywhere. Just… _relax_ , ok?’

Finding it difficult to breathe – wasn’t that ironic? – because Eren’s iron grip around his middle was slowly squeezing all the air out of his lungs, Levi willed himself to stay patient. ‘It’s still the middle of the night. You need to get some sleep.’

‘Will…will you sleep with me?’

Given any other situation, the question would have been wholly inappropriate and warranted Eren a fist in the face, but Levi merely sighed this time.

‘If that will make you feel better, fine. But you have to let go of me so we can move to the bed. I sure as hell am not sleeping on the floor.’

Very reluctantly Eren released his hold, looking apprehensive as though the loss of physical contact would either result in his panic attack returning, or Levi fleeing. When neither happened, he got up and slumped into his bed. Scooting to the edge of one side, he looked at Levi anxiously.

Levi gave the bed a look-over, wondering what the hell he was doing before slipping under the covers. The instant he laid down, Eren’s arm shot out and curled around Levi’s chest, clutching him like his life depended on it.

‘I’m cold,’ he mumbled into the crook of Levi’s neck.

‘That’s because some stupid brat ripped his nightshirt in half.’ Levi said, cringing inwardly at how damn _close_ Eren was. ‘Must you hold on to me like that?’

‘I…’ Eren’s eyes widened and he looked on the verge of tears.

‘Never mind. Just go to sleep.’

Placing one arm around Eren in an awkward kind of hug, Levi pulled the duvet over them both. Trying not to think too hard on their current situation – if would only give him a headache if he did – he turned his head the other way and willed himself into a slumber.

 

To be continued

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by 'Rin', a super cute bl manga about a boy who suffers from panic attacks and the only way for him to calm down is a hug from his childhood friend.  
> Thank you for reading, and any comments will be greatly appreciated!


End file.
